


Forever Man

by clgfanfic



Series: Houston Knights - Forever Series [1]
Category: Houston Knights
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-30
Updated: 2012-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-17 08:34:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/549636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clgfanfic/pseuds/clgfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lundy finally tells Joe how he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever Man

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine Dyad #4 and also One in Ten #7 under the pen name Duval.

          Joseph LaFiamma stared across his desk, studying the bowed head of his partner, Levon Lundy.  Something was simmering at a low boil inside the handsome Texan.  He'd tried to find out what, but nothing he'd tried had convinced Levon to explain the problem.  At first Joe thought it was something that he'd done that upset the blond, but as days passed and Lundy's mood grew darker, he realized it was something else – even Lundy didn't hold a grudge that long without exploding and yelling at him. 

          It had all started Monday morning.  _Maybe Lundy had had a bad weekend_ , LaFiamma concluded.  _Still, it's Wednesday afternoon!  He's got to talk about it sooner or later . . . Or I'm going to kill him_.

          The overhead lights were off, a concession to the general dull mood that filled the station.   Another dreary winter's day.  The sparse sunlight that drifted in from behind the gray-black clouds glistened off the blond's pale yellow hair.  Fine, soft and worn longer than the regulations allowed for, no one thought to ask Lundy to cut it.  It was a part of the man, as natural as the soft drawl or the ever present Stetson, currently sitting brim-up on his desk.

          LaFiamma lobbed another crumpled post-it into the black hole, but Lundy remained oblivious.

          Levon Lundy was a very handsome man, LaFiamma concluded after watching his partner for nearly an hour.  _Not that I'm any slouch myself_ , the Italian reminded himself.  But there was something compelling about the Texan that LaFiamma couldn't put his finger on.  Women often told Joe that it was his classic Italian features that made him so attractive, not to mention – although he hated to admit it – the little-boy vulnerability he couldn't keep off his face.

          That little boy quality was missing from Levon's face.  Angular features, with a sharp nose and broad forehead, the blond had a vulnerable, open smile few people ever saw.  The Texan was serious, his expression always hinting at the pain he carried with him.  Buried years ago, the little boy was hidden, but Levon could not get rid of him completely.  Occasionally glimpses sneaked out when Levon was sleeping, or when he was lost in the feel of Fooler moving flawlessly under him, or sometimes when he was playing with Eric, or when they really were able to help someone.

          LaFiamma decided Levon would look most natural in the Old West.  A haunted cowboy, or maybe a Texas Ranger.  Maybe one of the men who saw too much death as he helped settle the state, fought at the Alamo, drove cattle from

 

 

the open range to the mid-west, or rounded up the lawless elements so others could make a home for themselves. 

          Joe grinned at the mental picture that generated.  Lundy in the same tight blue jeans showing off his long legs and narrow hips – a whipcord tough frame, as rugged as the Texas landscape and with the same underlying sense of home and family.  Maybe Lundy was a man out of time.  He was a man of ideals, all tucked safely away under the layers of defenses he'd built up over the years. 

          Well, whatever was bothering him, LaFiamma knew it was high time Levon talked about it – whether or not he wanted to.

          "Hey, Lundy, what do you say we call it a day and head over to Chicken's for some dinner, a few beers, and a game of pool?"

          The blond's head rose, brown-blue eyes regarding the Italian thoughtfully.  "Since when do you **want** to go to Chicken's for dinner, LaFiamma?"

          "I don't know," Joe replied.  "I guess the sauce is starting to grow on me."

          Lundy mumbled something uncomplimentary, but closed the file folder with a slap and stood.  He dumped the post-its all over Joe's desk, then set the Stetson on his head and grabbed his red-denim jacket.  LaFiamma followed the Texan out of the HPD major crimes office.

 

 

          Three empty beer bottles stood in front of the Texan's still full plate, a sure sign something was very wrong.  LaFiamma watched as Lundy continued to poke  at the stack of ribs growing cold on his plate. 

          "Lundy, you going to eat those, or just chase them all over that plate?"

          The blond smiled thinly.  "Mother Minnie used to say that."

          LaFiamma hesitated.  The older woman's death was still recent, and he didn't want to add her memory to whatever was bothering Lundy.  Or maybe that was the problem, he considered.

          "Yeah, well, I guess she saw you in a lot of these moods, huh?"

          "Moods, LaFiamma?"

          "Moods, Lundy.  For the last three days you've been walking around like a kid who's lost his dog.  What's up?"

          The blond scowled defiantly at his partner, but didn't speak.  The flare of anger subsided and Lundy begrudgingly  acknowledged to himself that it wasn't LaFiamma he was mad at.  He was mad at himself. 

          "It's Jamie," Lundy said with a sigh.

          "What?  She's okay, isn't she?"

          "She's gettin' married."

          "Married?" the dark-haired man echoed.  "You asked her?"

          "No.  It's some guy she's been workin' with."

          LaFiamma watched several conflicting emotions play out across his partner's face.  There was much more going on in the blond's head than simply losing his girlfriend.  "You don't want her to marry the guy?"

          "I don't know.  I don't even know the man, LaFiamma."  Lundy sighed heavily.  He was clearly uncomfortable talking to the Chicagoan about the matter, but still, he wanted to talk about it,  needed to.  Levon just wasn't sure it was LaFiamma who should be listening.  The two partners had very different ideas about life and relationships.  Would he understand?

 

          _No way t'know unless I tell him_ , Lundy concluded silently.

 

 

          "Look, after the thing with Caroline and Taylor, Jamie and I decided we should see other people, or at least spend some time apart to sort through what we were feelin'."

          LaFiamma nodded.  "And you didn't see anyone, but she did, right?"

          "Yeah," Lundy agreed, draining his fourth beer.  He motioned to Chicken for another and the large black man dropped it off with a concerned look directed at LaFiamma.  The Italian shrugged.

          "I still don't see–"

          Lundy dropped his voice, the alcohol liberating feelings festering inside the man for several days.  "Look, Jamie was the first woman I was with since Caroline died – the only one I've been with besides Caroline.  I thought we'd get married."

          "Because you slept with her?"

          "Because I love her, LaFiamma.  I don't expect you to understand this, but I don't sleep around.  When I take a lady to my bed, it's because I love her and I want to make a life with her."

          LaFiamma nodded.  "I understand, Lundy.  I envy you that."

          The blond cocked his head to one side, taken back by the comment.  "How's that?"

          "I wish I could say I'd met a woman who made me feel like I wanted to settle down – someone I'd like to spend the rest of my life with – but I can't."

          Lundy nodded.  "After the thing with Taylor, I knew I'd never be able to get Caroline out of my life, not totally.  Not enough to let another woman in.  I love Jamie, and Eric, but not like I loved Caroline.  Jamie could see that.  She wanted more from me than I could give her."

          "A different kind of love isn't necessarily a less valuable one, Lundy," Joe offered.

          "I know that.  But it's got to be that.  A different love.  I needed time to sort all the pieces out.  I guess I just thought Jamie'd wait for me to do that.  I don't know if a woman will ever give me the space I need for Caroline, and I don't want to be alone, LaFiamma.  That's not my style."

          "You know," the Italian said, "you might not believe this, but it's not mine either."  The blond regarded him, weighing the words and finding the truth behind them in the blue eyes.  "That one of the hardest parts about being here.  Back home I had family everywhere.  I couldn't get away from them, even if I wanted to. My aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins . . . Someone was always there if I needed them, but here. . ."  he let the words trail off.

          "I guess I kinda forgot you're all alone, too," Levon said quietly.

          LaFiamma smiled.  "Well, at least we got each other, huh?  Even if we do hate each other sometimes."

          The blond nodded slightly, thinking.  "Do we really hate each other, Joe?"

          The unfamiliar use of his first name made the Italian shift uncomfortably in his chair.  "No.  No, I don't think so.  At least, I hope not.  This is just another world for me here, that's all.  I miss home."

          Lundy nodded, finishing off his fifth Lone Star.  "I get t'feeling like I ain't got a home anymore.  Caroline's gone.  Mother Minnie.  My mom and dad.  My

 

hometown's changed so much I hardly know it, and now Jamie's leaving.  What's left?"

          "You and me, partner."

          "Yeah . . . Thanks."

          "Come on, let me take you home.  You're in no condition to drive."

          "I'm fine."

          "You'd fail a field test, Lundy.  I'm driving."

 

 

          "How you gonna get home?" Levon asked as he opened the door to his house.

          "Huh, why don't I take the Jimmy back to Chicken's and I'll pick you up in the morning?"

          Lundy glanced at the old clock ticking loudly on the wall.  "Ya mean today?"

          LaFiamma checked the hour and groaned.  "I didn't realize it was that late."

          "It's Thursday mornin'.  Look, why don't you stay here and we'll swing by your place later so you can change."

          The Chicagoan considered the offer.  Lundy seemed almost anxious about spending the rest of the night alone, and with it being so late, Joe couldn't think of a better solution.  "Okay."

          "Okay," Lundy echoed.  "You can have the guest room."  They walked in together, Lundy pointing to a closed door.

          "Damn, it's cold in here.  Don't you believe in heat, Lundy?"

          "It's warm under the covers, LaFiamma.  Won't kill you."

          "No," the Italian mumbled, "but I'll probably catch a cold."

 

 

          LaFiamma blinked awake.  He lay still under the heavy blankets, listening for the source of the adrenaline rush pumping him out of the quiet of sleep.

          There.

          He rose, pulling on the spare terry robe Lundy tossed over the foot of the bed, saying, "You'll need it if'n you get up in the night.  I don't run the heater 'til mornin'."

          "I'm surprised you haven't froze to death," Joe grumbled as he drew the robe tighter and headed off in search of the cry he heard.  It didn't take the detective long to locate the disturbance.

          Lundy was still asleep, but thrashing under the quilt covers.  Even in the dim light of dawn, LaFiamma could see the sweat that covered the man's face and the unhidden horror that folded the man's face into a mask of despair.  The blond cried out again, sitting up as he did, hands flailing outward in sweeping arcs like a blind man looking for a handhold.

          Without thinking, the Italian moved to the bed, sat down and reached out for the grasping hands.  When Lundy felt the robe, he grabbed on, rough with a desperate need to anchor himself.

          While Lundy clung to the front of the robe, LaFiamma's arms encircled the frightened man, drawing him into a safe haven away from the nightmare and rocking from side to side without realizing it.  Gentle hands rubbed over the blond's shaking, sweat-dampened back.  Lundy's flannel nightshirt was worn to a

 

comfortable softness that somehow fit the Texan.  Levon buried his face in the folds of the robe and tried to take a deep breath, but it caught in a half-sob.

          "Hey, easy," LaFiamma said quietly, tightening his grip on the man slightly.  "It's okay, now.  Just a bad dream.  It's all over."

          Joe felt Lundy nod against his chest, then the blond's entire body went rigid in his arms.  Levon pulled back, breaking the contact.

          "What n'the hell you doin', LaFiamma?"

          "Me?"

          "You.  What're you doin' in here?"

          Joe reined in his temper and took a deep breath.  "You woke me up."

          "Well, I'm fine.  Go on back t'bed."

          The Italian stood.  "You know, I used to have nightmares, too."

          "Oh, really?" Lundy asked more sarcastically than he meant.

          "Yeah, after my dad suicided."  Lundy winced.  "And I had a cousin, Tony.  He slept in the room next to mine.  I'd wake him up, too, and he'd come in and–"  Joe stopped, his own feelings of homesickness and frustration welling up with the memory.  "Ah, what's the point.  You're just– . . . never mind."  He turned and started to leave.

          "LaFiamma."

          He paused at the door.  "What?"

          "I'm sorry."

          Joe rubbed his cold bare toes over the hardwood floor.  "Yeah.  Me, too.  G'night, Lundy."

          "Wait a minute, will ya?"  The Italian looked back at the man, still sitting in the center of the bed.  "Could you sit for a minute?  I–  I'd like to tell you about the dream."

          LaFiamma considered the words.  It was a big step for the Texan.  "Okay, but it sounded more like a nightmare, if you ask me," he replied and walked back to the bed, sitting down opposite the blond and leaning against the footboard.

          "First, I'm sorry about snappin' at ya like that.  I just ain't used to folks," he looked up at the man through long eyelashes, "being there."

          "It's okay.  I didn't stop to think if you'd want my help.  I just did what Tony used to do for me when I– . . . I just didn't think."

          Lundy leaned back against the headboard, extending his legs out in front of him, next to LaFiamma's.  "Your family, LaFiamma, they big on touchin' and all?"

          "Yeah, I guess you could say that.  Italians.  You know."

          The Texan grinned slightly.  "Yeah.  Want t'hear somethin' funny?"

          "What?"

          "So was my family.  At least my mother, what I can remember of her, aunts, uncles, cousins, and Mother Minnie o'course.  Caroline was like that, too."

          "So why'd you pull back from me?"

          The blond looked across the dark room, realizing that he was opening himself to a world of hurt if his partner ever decided to take advantage of the situation, but there was something about the man's expression that said Levon could trust him.

          "I don't know.  Long before Caroline and I got married, I guess when my father left . . . and my mother died . . . I guess I just started pullin' away from people.  That's what I was dreamin' about.

 

 

          "I was on this island, and everyone I cared about was there, but the island was crumbling and they kept fallin' off into the water.  They call to me t'help 'em, but I didn't have enough rope for all of them.  I couldn't get to them.  They were all

reaching out for me when they went down the last time.  But I was too busy to help them."

          Lundy laughed nervously.  "The island was getting' smaller and smaller.  Everyone was gone . . . dad, mom, Mother Minnie, then Joanna, Estaban, Jamie, Eric . . . I couldn't even save Caroline.  I tried.  I tried so hard to save her, but I couldn't.  I was kneelin' in the sand, cryin' and–"  The blond stopped abruptly, wiping a trembling hand across his face to remove the beads of sweat that had broken out.

          "Then what?" LaFiamma prompted, wondering if he was a part of the nightmare as well.

          "Then I heard you."

          "I fell in, too?"

          "Yeah," Lundy said in a whisper.  "I let all the people I love go down because I was tryin' so hard to help Caroline, but then I heard you."

          "And?"

          "I kept tryin' to get her, LaFiamma.  When I saw her go down the last time, I turned for you, but you were already gone.  I was all alone."

          "You're not alone," Joe said softly.

          "I went over to where I knew you were.  I couldn't get off the island with the rest of them, but with you, I dove in.  I swam down until I found you, floating just off the bottom of the ocean.  I grabbed you, dragged you up back up to the island, but it was gone.  I was holding you, but there was no place to go.  I knew you were dying.  You weren't breathin'–"

          The blond had started to shake again, and LaFiamma let one of his hands move over to grip the Texan's leg.  "It was just a dream."

          "I know," Lundy snapped, immediately sorry for the harsh tone and the flash of pain it sent racing over his partner's face.  "Sorry . . . I tried t'give you mouth to mouth, to clear your lungs, but I couldn't do it.  I couldn't.  They were down there, everyone else, under the water, dragging me down.  I was holding on to you, tryin', but they had my legs–"

          "Lundy," Joe said with enough force to make the man jump.  "It was a **dream**."

          "I know," he whispered.  "But it's goin' to happen, sooner or later.  I kill or drive away everybody I care about."

          "Well, you aren't getting rid of me like that," the dark-haired man said vehemently.

          Levon looked up, his eyes flashing.  "Don't say that."

          "Why?  You're not.  You think you're the only one who's lost the people he loves?"

          "No.  I know better 'n that.  But I don't have a great track record for keeping folks around, if you hadn't noticed."

          "You let me worry about that.  You're the best damned partner I've worked with, even if it is in Houston."

          Lundy snorted.  "Guess I could say the same thing, even if you're are a city-boy."

 

          "Could say?"

          "All right, all right.  I do say."  Lundy glanced away embarrassed as he added, "And you're a good friend."

          "You, too."

          "Damn, I'm tired."

          "Look, you sleep.  I'll call the Lieutenant and tell her we've got a case of the twenty-four hour flu and we won't be in today, okay?"

          The blond nodded.  "I'll get over the guilt.  Right now I don't feel so good anyway."

 

 

          Twice Lundy woke out of nightmares and twice LaFiamma was there to ease his fears away.  When he finally got up early Thursday afternoon, he found the Chicagoan asleep, stretched out on the couch, a small fire snapping in the stone hearth warming the living room.

          Looking down at Joe, Lundy marveled at the man-child occupying his couch.  The Italian was more sensitive, and had more depth than he let on – but then, that was something Lundy understood all too well.  LaFiamma was also a beautiful man, well built, with features that could compete with the Roman statues he'd seen in the Houston Art Gallery.  Levon felt a shudder pass through him, the attraction he felt surprising and scaring him.

          LaFiamma was the one person he really cared about who was left.  The one person who really understood and accepted Lundy for who, and what, he was.  Joe was a kindred spirit, alone, isolated, somehow outcast from the center of what meant the most to him.  The almost palatable desire to reach out and touch the man's face drove Lundy to step back.

          _Where are these feelings coming from?  It's crazy!  It's wrong!_

          He turned and stalked off to the kitchen.  _Time for some hot coffee, Levon_ , he told himself.  _You need to wake up!_

 

 

          LaFiamma lay quietly, sensing rather than seeing Lundy's appraisal of him.  He could imagine how the blond looked standing over him in jeans, a worn flannel shirt over a long sleeved tee-shirt.  The blond hair would still be disheveled from sleep, dangling over the brown-blue eyes . . . _What the hell?_

          The Italian roughly shoved the thoughts away.  _Jesus, that's all I need, Lundy finding out I think he's good looking.  What am I thinking?  I must be getting a fever_.

          He listened to the blond's breathing as it went slightly erratic, matching his own, then Lundy moved off to the kitchen.  LaFiamma lay quietly, listening as Lundy began preparing breakfast.  The strong aroma of coffee was quickly washed out by frying bacon.  The Chicagoan's stomach rumbled and he swung off the couch, padding silently into the large kitchen.

          Lundy was standing at the stove, working on the bacon when LaFiamma stepped up behind him.  The Italian felt strange as he stood so close to the blond, like he was a magnet, moving nearer and nearer to an opposite pole, the pull to touch the man almost beyond his control.

 

 

          Lundy felt the same attraction, and willed himself not to step back and lean against the man.  "I see you're finally up," he said instead, his body tensing to resist the sudden intense desire to turn around and hug the man.  _This is gettin' out of hand!_

          LaFiamma saw the blond's muscles cord with tension.  "Yeah.  Kind of nice, for a change.  Sleeping late, that is."

          "You earned it, babysittin' me like that."

          "No problem," the Italian said, reaching out to rest his hands on the blond's shoulders.  He began to rub against the tension.  "Jesus, Lundy, relax."

          "I am relaxed, LaFiamma,"  Levon said through nearly gritted teeth.

          "Yeah?  Well, if that's what you call 'relaxed,' I'd sure as hell hate to see you tense."  Rubbing with slow, strong strokes across the top of the shoulders and along the collarbones, he felt the Texan shiver.  "Cold?"

          "It's still a mite chilly," Levon agreed, refusing to admit that it was the man's touch making his body tremble.  "Guess I should turn up the heater.  You watch the bacon for a minute?"

          "Sure," LaFiamma agreed, allowing Lundy to slip away.  He smiled.  The man was definitely out of practice when it came to showing a little physical closeness.  _But then, so am I_ , he thought.  But it did feel good to be able to reach out and touch someone for a change.

          All his life, Joe had grown up with a family whose hands were almost as fast as their speech.  It was natural to touch, to hug, kiss . . . the realization of how much he missed that washed over him as Lundy returned.

          "LaFiamma, you all right?"

          "Huh?  Uh, yeah.  I'm fine."

          "What were you thinkin' about?  Looked pretty serious."

          "No, not really.  I was just thinking about home, and how much things have changed for me here."

          "What do you miss the most?" the Texan asked, enjoying the close relationship he and partner were sharing.

          "Closeness," LaFiamma said without hesitation.  "The touching.  Knowing there's people there who care about you."

          Lundy nodded.  "When Mother Minnie died, that's what I thought, too.  There was no one left to– . . . To hug, kiss good-night, you know?"  The Italian nodded.  "I always knew she was there.  All I had to do was go home and. . ."  He trailed off with a shake of his head.  "Here, let me get that bacon on a plate."

          LaFiamma stepped aside and watched as Lundy deftly removed the thick strips and laid them out on a paper towel-covered plate.  When he finished, Lundy laid the tongs aside and started to reach for the plate, but the Chicagoan stopped him, taking hold of the Texan's wrist.

          Their eyes met, both questioning and uncertain.  LaFiamma gently pulled the blond into a tentative hug.  At first Lundy didn't respond, enduring the embrace with stiff stubbornness, but after a moment LaFiamma felt the man relax slightly, then completely.

          Lundy's arms came up to return the hug with equal fervor.  Their grips increased until they were clinging to each other, desperate for the affection they'd both denied for too long.

 

 

          "Bacon's goin' to get cold," Lundy said after a while.

          LaFiamma chuckled.  "Sorry."

          "That's all right," Levon replied as they broke apart slowly.  "Hungry, partner?" he asked.

          "Starved."

 

 

          After they ate, LaFiamma dried dishes while Lundy washed.  It was a quiet time, neither man speaking as they worked.  Outside, the gray skies finally began to empty, the rain falling in a steady, moderate drizzle.  When they finished, Lundy rebanked the fire on the hearth while LaFiamma called Reisner to tell Joanna he and Lundy were taking a couple of days off – the flu, more long-term than expected.

          After agreeing to drink lots of liquids, get plenty of sleep, and be back to work by Monday, he hung up and took a seat at the end of the couch across from his partner, who occupied the armchair closest to the snapping fire.

          "We have until Monday.  Three days.  Not too bad.  Let's just hope we don't really get sick anytime soon."

          Lundy nodded.  "Sounds good.  I needed the break.  It'll give me time to sort this thing out with Jamie."

          LaFiamma nodded.  "You mind if I camp out here?"

          The blond's eyebrows rose suspiciously.  "You want to stay here?"

          "Yeah," the dark-haired man said.  "If it's not a problem.  I mean, well. . ."

          "Out with it, LaFiamma."

          "I just want some time in a house."

          "A home," the blond corrected.

          "Yeah.  Someplace that doesn't feel like an apartment."

          Lundy nodded.  "You're welcome here."

          Blue eyes sought out the brown.  "Thanks."

          "No need to thank me.  I was goin' to ask you to stay."

 

 

          The rest of the day, the partners relaxed in the comfortable atmosphere of chosen silence and shared space.  LaFiamma followed his partner out and watched as Lundy tended to Fooler, even venturing to feed the large roan a handful of grain. The soft nose snuffed over LaFiamma while Lundy curried the animal and Joe soon found himself absently scratching the horse's face while he watched Levon work.  The man's hands were sure but gentle, stroking over the horse's shiny coat after the brush passed over it.  When Levon finished with Fooler, Joe offered his arms for a load of firewood and trailed Lundy to the house.

          "I'm going to have to stop by the apartment to pick up some clothes," the dark-haired detective said absently, looking down at the horse hair and dirt, clinging to his clothes.

          LaFiamma mused at the fact that it didn't upset him to see the suit so dirty.  He felt good.  Real good, for the first time in longer than he could remember and the clothes seemed trivial.

          "I have some things that'll fit you," Lundy said as he arranged the wood in a neat stack near the fire.

 

 

          "You?  I don't think so, Lundy.  I've got a size on you, at least."

          "Give it a try.  If they don't fit we'll go get yours."

          "Okay," he agreed and followed Levon back to the spare bedroom.  The blond pull a pair of jeans and a shirt out of a dresser drawer, and Joe frowned when he held them up against himself and realized the blond was right.  They would fit.

          "These yours?"

          "Yeah."

          "You've lost some weight, Lundy."

          "Some," he acknowledged.  "I was heavier when Caroline was alive.  Her cookin' kept the meat on my bones.  That and I worked out more, like you do, with weights.  I was doin' more around here, too."

          "Why'd you quit?"

          "Didn't seem as important."

          LaFiamma nodded, understanding.  He had put the weight on since he came to Houston, using the exercise as a way to take his mind off his forced exile.  After a while it became a habit.

          "Why don't you shower and change.  I'll put some fresh coffee on," Levon offered.  "It's goin' to storm tonight."

 

 

          The partners sat on the porch, watching the heat lightning flashing along the dark horizon.  An occasional streak strobbed above them, the thunder rumbling across the night sky like a deep roar.  LaFiamma watched the blond, wondering what the man was thinking, and finally deciding to ask.

          "Lundy?"

          "Yeah?"

          "What're you thinking about?"

          The blond raised his eyebrows slightly.  "Just thinkin' how natural a storm is. Thinkin' about what it would have been like here a hundred years ago, two hundred."  The dark-haired detective chuckled.  "What?"

          "Yesterday, I was thinking how you looked like you belonged in the Old West."

          Lundy grinned.  "Doin' what?"

          "Oh, I don't know.  Cowboy . . . fighting at the Alamo . . . maybe a Texas Ranger."  Lundy's smile bubbled into a laugh.  It was nice to hear.

          "That's what I wanted to be when I grew up – a Texas Ranger. When I got older I realized that cities like Houston needed cops more than the Rangers needed me."

          LaFiamma nodded.  "You could've stayed home.  Been the sheriff by now, I'd bet.  Hell, maybe even mayor.  The people there have a lot of respect for you and your family."

          Lundy sobered.  "Caroline suggested that, too, but I felt like I could do more here.  Guess I should've listened to her.  She wouldn't be dead."

          "Lundy, I didn't want to bring all this up again."

          "Sorry, LaFiamma, it's just the mood I'm in, I guess.  Caroline loved the rain. We'd sit out here and watch the storms when I was home.  It was a special time for us."

 

 

          LaFiamma decided it was time to change the topic before the blond plummeted into another depression.  "When's Jamie's wedding?  You didn't say."

          "February," Lundy said, shaking his head to clear away the memories.

          "You going?"

          "Yeah.  It wouldn't be right not to.  You're invited, too."  LaFiamma nodded.  "You know, it's just sometimes I feel so damned empty."  The dark head nodded again.  "I just want someone there who cares.  I just want to feel like I'm whole again."

          "We make a helluva pair, don't we."

          "Sure enough.  I miss her, LaFiamma.  I miss the love, the feelings about life being compete and worth livin'."

          "I understand."

          Lundy stood, dusting off the back of his jeans.  "Well, enough of this melancholy.  I'm goin' to bed."

          "I'll be in in a few minutes."

          The blond nodded.  "G'night, Joe."

          "Goodnight, Lundy."

 

 

          It was Joe's night for dreams.  They started off safe enough with he and Lundy working – something about a horse on the freeway – but they slowly progressed into the tangled web of his own inner frustrations and insecurities.

          He came awake with a yell.

          Lundy was there.  "Joe?  You all right?"

          LaFiamma nodded, waiting to catch his breath before he spoke.  When he did, he looked sheepishly at the blond and said, "Guess it's my turn for the nightmares."

          Lundy nodded.  "Bad one, huh?"

          "Bad one.  But I don't remember it.  What time is it?  Did I wake you up?"

          "It's almost six in the morning, and yeah, I heard you yellin'."

          LaFiamma realized the man was still dressed in the long flannel nightshirt.  "Damn.  I wish I could remember what it was about."

          Lundy reached out and rested his hand on the man's shoulder.  "It's over, just forget it."  LaFiamma nodded.  "Want some coffee?"

          "In a minute," Joe whispered.  "Stay here a minute, okay?"

          "Sure."

          Lundy noticed the sweat on his partner's face and the pale ring around the man's mouth.  Reaching out, he laid a hand against Joe's cheek.  "You got a fever?"

          "Fever?" LaFiamma echoed, reaching up to feel his own forehead.  "I hope not."

          Lundy smiled.  "That's what you deserve for lyin' to Joanna."

          LaFiamma groaned dramatically, falling forward into the blond.  The Texan stiffened to catch the man up, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.  They both chuckled.

          "Maybe it's just the nightmare."

          "Hope so," the Italian mumbled into the sleeve of Levon's nightshirt.  Looking up, he found himself nose to nose with his partner.  Leaning forward more he let his lips brush the blond's.

 

          Lundy jumped back like he had been stung.  Their eyes locked, silent questions and needs passing across the space like arcs of energy.  Levon didn't move away any further and Joe reached out, touching the man's face gently.  Easing his fingers around the blond's neck he tugged softly forward.  The Texan moved, hesitantly, but still leaning forward until their lips met for a second time.

          The kiss was tentative, testing, and quick.  The two men moving apart again. Neither spoke, nor did they move far.  It was Lundy who responded first, reaching

out to draw his partner into a tight hug, rocking him as LaFiamma had rocked him when he was still caught in the fog of his own nightmare.

          Joe's arms came up, encircling the blond.  They moved together, fitting against each other in comfortable warmth.  The soft flannel tickled LaFiamma's nose as he buried his face in Levon's shoulder, feeling Lundy rest his cheek against his hair.

          "What are we doin', LaFiamma?" he whispered.

          "I dunno, but I don't want to stop," he said into the shoulder, punctuating the comment by pressing his face harder against the man.  He shivered when Lundy's fingers combed through his hair and rubbed along the back of his neck.

          LaFiamma shivered again.

          "You cold?" Lundy asked, his voice soft and thick.

          "A little," Joe admitted.

          Lundy bent forward, forcing the Italian back against the pillows, then stretched out next to him, lying on his back.  LaFiamma pulled the quilts up to cover both of them, then nestled back against the Texan's side, resting his head on the blond's shoulder and draping an arm over the man's chest.

          "Better?"

          "Uh-huh."

          The lay quietly, both afraid to move and still enjoying the closeness.  LaFiamma finally let his free hand begin to move over the flannel of Lundy's sleeve and felt Lundy's other hand come up to rub over his back in response.

          LaFiamma moaned, "Hum, that feels great."

          "Shh," Lundy whispered back, rolling slightly toward the Chicagoan so he could reach all of the man's back.  Joe's hand moved from the arm to the blond's chest.

          Lundy might have lost weight since Caroline's death, but he was still in better shape than most people LaFiamma knew, and the muscles that moved under his fingertips were corded with potential strength.  Joe slipped a button out of its hole and let his fingers reach past the nightshirt to the smooth skin beneath the flannel. It was Lundy's turn to moan as Joe's hand moved over collarbones.

          LaFiamma shifted to free his other hand, allowing it to join the first in an exploration of the blond's chest.  Meanwhile, Lundy rolled onto his side, facing his partner, his hands roaming over the man's back, shoulder and arm.  Acting on impulse, he kissed the dark-haired man's forehead, and LaFiamma tilted his head back.

          Their lips met again, this time more curious and less fearful.  Tongues met, pulled back, met again, explored lips, teeth, each other.  They parted for air, each breathing heavy, pulling in lungfuls of the warm, moist air that rose from their bodies and from under the covers.  Joe pushed the quilts down a little, then

 

 

reached up to cup the back of the blond's head and draw him back into another kiss that lasted longer.

          They moved closer, their bodies pressing against the other, two pairs of hands now roaming freely.  LaFiamma found himself being pushed onto his back, and he wove his fingers through Lundy's soft gold halo of hair shining in the light of another gray dawn.

          Lundy's hands moved to open LaFiamma's borrowed nightshirt, then shoved the material away, moving over the warm bare skin, kneading, tickling and pressing.  Joe shifted under the manipulation, his body twisting in reply to the touches.  He forced himself to concentrate enough to finish opening Lundy's shirt and pick up where he left off, forcing Levon to shift above the Italian, resting on his knees next to the dark-haired man in order to keep his balance.  The quilts fell back to Joe's thighs.

          Vague concerns over what he was doing rose and fell in the Texan, overwhelmed by stronger feelings and needs.

          LaFiamma let his fingers run circles around Lundy's nipples, drawing them into hard beads.  The blond arched back, sucking in a broken breath.  Joe took advantage of the moment, pulling the blond forward, Levon landing across LaFiamma's chest, the Italian's hands trapped between them.

          They shifted again, Levon tracing his tongue across the Italian's exposed shoulder, causing the man's hips to buck up off the bed.

          "Argh," Joe growled.  Lundy chuckled evilly, one hand reaching down only to rake up the man's thigh.  The growl turned into a gurgling moan.  LaFiamma turned his hips and rolled toward Lundy, forcing the man back over onto his back.  In semi-control, the Italian reached for the hem of Levon's nightshirt, grabbed it, and started pulling upward.  Lundy lifted his hips so the material could pass unimpeded, and found himself undressed under the smoldering gaze of his partner.  It was frightening and exciting in the same instant.

          LaFiamma stripped his own nightshirt off, tossing it on the floor with Lundy's, then bent forward, catching one of the blond's still hard nipples between his teeth.  He felt Lundy's already erect cock bounce along his leg.  The Italian's hands roamed downward over the blond's flat, washboard abdomen, brushed the first strands of blond public hair, and came to rest on the man's hip bones.  Levon pressed up against Joe's hands.

          They paused, both men aware of how far they had come and where it was leading.  LaFiamma's blue eyes shined brightly in the dawnlight.  A rumble of thunder shook the house, vibrating through the floor and bed.  Joe grinned.

          Lundy rested one hand on the Italian's thigh, his fingers gripping the bare skin while the other reached up to grab his partner's shoulder, pulling him down.

          "You sure?" LaFiamma whispered.

          "Yeah," Lundy replied.

          LaFiamma leaned forward, his mouth capturing the blond's, while his hands reached for the man's body.  They touched, fingers quaking with half-uncontrolled excitement, driving both men toward an abandonment that surprised each.

          Their hips pressed against each other, and Lundy shook with anticipation when he felt LaFiamma's cock slide along his, both colliding in the tangle of the other's groin.

 

 

          Lundy gripped the Italian's back, pulling him in tighter, his hands rubbing down to dig into the well-muscled ass.  LaFiamma's lips curled off his teeth, and he growled deep in his throat and thrust forward.  The blond matched the move, one hand slipping between them to grab at the Italian's cock.  It filled his hand and Levon rubbed in long slow strokes that matched the rhythm they set.

          Their climax, when it came several minutes later, was quick and frantic.

 

 

          LaFiamma woke first.  He looked at the radio alarm.  It was nearly noon.  Lundy was still sleeping, curled up and facing away from the Italian.  Joe reached out and traced a finger down his partner's exposed shoulder.

          "Huh?" Levon slurred.

          "Nothin', go back to sleep," LaFiamma whispered, but the blond uncurled, stretching under the covers and looking at the clock.  He was suddenly very afraid of Lundy's reaction to their lovemaking, and he realized that he did think of it as making love.

          "No wonder my stomach's growlin'," he mumbled, relieving some of the Italian's anxiety.

          "It's all the exercise," Joe teased, hoping Levon wasn't waiting to explode over the event.

          "Could be.  You hungry?"  LaFiamma nodded.  "I'll make up some flapjacks. Mother Minnie's receipt.  You'll love 'em."

          "Sounds great," LaFiamma said.  "Uh, Lundy. . ."

          "Yeah?" the blond asked as he tossed back the covers and grabbed for the discarded robe.  Joe hesitated and Lundy turned to look at the man over his shoulder as he tugged the belt tight.  "If you're goin' to ask about last night–"

          "This morning."

          "Whatever.  If that's it, I'm not sorry."

          "Me either."

          "Good.  Now, get your ass out of my bed."

          LaFiamma grinned.  "We're in my bed, remember?"

          Lundy returned the grin.  "My house, my bed."

 

 

          The rest of Friday passed like Thursday.  The men worked in the barn, took a walk down to the small creek that ran in the winter, and spent the evening playing several games of backgammon.  When it grew late, the two men began nervous conversation.

          Lundy finally grew tired of it first.  "Well, I'm goin' t'bed.  What about you?"

          LaFiamma glanced away.  "Uh, yeah, me, too."

          Levon stood, then drained what was left in his coffee cup before he carried it to the kitchen.  Joe waited for him in the doorway when Lundy turned to leave.

          "You want some company tonight?" he asked.

          The blond grinned slightly.  "Company?"

          "You know what I mean," LaFiamma said, his voice rising in volume.

          Lundy nodded.  "I know.  And, yeah, I would."

          LaFiamma snuggled into the mattress while Lundy climbed into bed.  He waited until the blond was settled before he moved closer.

 

          "What are we doin'?" Lundy asked him.

          "I don't know."

          "It's crazy."

          "I know."

          "Are we goin' to stop?"

          "Do you want to?" LaFiamma asked, suddenly afraid Levon would say yes.

          "No."

          "Me neither." Joe let his hand snake across his partner's chest until it rested on the man's shoulder.  He squeezed.  Lundy turned toward him and they kissed.

          LaFiamma reached for the blond, knowing he was nude under the nightshirt, just like he had been before.  He found the half erect cock and rolled it between his hands.  Lundy bucked forward, his own hands finding plenty to keep him occupied.

          They each shed the flannel barriers, moving back to their explorations of the other.

          LaFiamma kissed down the blond's throat, across his chest, outdistancing Lundy's hands as they tried to hold him in place.  When Joe's lips brushed over the fully erect cock, Lundy abandoned his attempts at controlling the dark-haired detective, his fingers curling into the sheets instead.  His hips lifted slightly off the bed when LaFiamma worked his way down the pulsing shaft, leaving behind a trail of soft kisses that left the blond's head rolling from side to side.

          Slipping as much of the shaft into his mouth as he could, LaFiamma set a steady, slow pace to their lovemaking.  Lundy matched it, reaching down to run his hand from the tip of the Italian's cock and down to cup the desire-tightened balls.  When Joe paused to nibble at the head of Lundy's cock, the blond let his hand run up over the firm ass, his finger poking at the tight sphincter.

          LaFiamma jumped slightly forward, then pressed back against Lundy's finger as he increased his speed, bobbing ever faster.

          Levon used one hand on his partner's cock, the other occupied with pressing just barely in and out, tickling his ass.  Joe was coming before he felt the final barriers fall and Lundy's own hot liquid filled his partner's mouth.

          They collapsed next to each other, satisfied and comfortable.  Lundy curled around LaFiamma and slipped off to sleep.  Joe lay awake, hoping he hadn't made the biggest mistake of his life, letting the Texan into a side of his life he had denied for over fifteen years.  Not since he was a young teenager and his cousin had left for college had he been attracted to another man.  Now, here was a man, as unlike LaFiamma as anyone could be, and Joe was falling in love with him.

          Not only that, but Lundy was the settling-down kind.  He wanted a wife, not a male lover.  LaFiamma hastily pushed the thought away.  He'd deal with the situation a day at a time.  The longer Lundy went along the longer the Italian would have what he'd wanted for several months.  Still, he couldn't stand in the man's way of finding someone to replace Caroline.

          Caroline . . . Joe wondered what she would think if she knew about this new relationship her husband had become involved in.  _She'd probably be pretty damned pissed off_ , he decided.  _But how can I ever hope to compete with her, or any other woman.  I really can't see Lundy happy with a male lover . . . but I could be_.

 

 

 

          He drifted off to sleep, his arms wrapped protectively around the sleeping blond.

 

 

          Lundy sat on his front steps, sipping at his coffee as the world beyond the porch began to wake up and start another day, oblivious to the fact that he had spent the last two nights making love to a man.  His partner.  What had gotten into him?  _I have to be crazy!_

          Still, it had been good.  He felt safe with LaFiamma.  Safe and whole somehow.  The man knew him.  Knew what he was, a cop, knew what that meant in a way that even Caroline hadn't.

          Caroline . . . _My sweet Caroline.  What would you say?_   He smiled into the dark liquid.  _You'd be happy, wouldn't you?_ he silently asked.  _You know I'm someone who needs someone to love.  I just never thought it'd be a man.  My partner.  He's not like another woman, either.  I don't feel like I'm being unfaithful to you when I'm with him_.

          Lundy tossed what was left of the coffee out.  _But can he deal with someone like me?  He's got an active sex life.  All those women.  But I'm a forever man, aren't I_ , he asked his dead wife.  _That's what you called me.  Someone who finds their true love and loves them forever.  Maybe you were my forever love, Caroline  . . . Maybe Joe is, too_.

          "Ah, there you are," LaFiamma said, stepping out to join his partner.  "Beautiful morning."  Lundy nodded.  The detective studied the blond.  "What's wrong?"

          "Nothin'."

          "You're a lousy liar, Levon."

          He smiled briefly.  "Yeah, I am."

          "So, what is it?"

          "Us."

          The Italian felt his stomach clench.  "Why?"

          Lundy looked at the man.  "LaFiamma, you know I don't take sex lightly."  The dark head nodded.  "This means a helluva a lot to me."

          "Me, too."

          "I guess what I'm trying to tell you is, I'm a forever man.  When I commit, it's for as long as it takes.  But if you don't want that, I have to know, now.  If you find a woman later, I'll understand that, but I have to know you understand how I see this relationship."

          "You see us as a long term commitment?"

          "Yeah.  But you can have all the space you need.  I don't want to hold you in anything."

          "You sure this isn't just a rebound from Jamie?" LaFiamma asked, needing to know.

          "No.  That was different.  I would have married her, if she had given me a little more time, but to tell you the truth, I feel more comfortable with you."

          "Why?  Because I'm a man and you don't have to stack me up against Caroline?"

          Lundy was taken back by the anger that had crept into the man's voice.  "No. You're different–"

 

          "I'm a man.  A convenient way to avoid the guilt you have about being unfaithful to your dead wife."

          "That's enough!" Lundy snapped.  "What I feel for you is real.  If that's not enough–"

          "What?"

          "If my lovin' you isn't enough–"

          LaFiamma laughed.

          "What?"

          "I'm sorry, Lundy," Joe said, sobering.  "I was scared.  I was afraid you were using me to get around your feelings for Caroline.  I can't compete with a ghost, but I do love you.  I just had to hear you say it."

          "Well, you could've just asked," Levon groused.

          "Do you think we can make this work?"

          "I don't know.  I'll try.  Will you?"

          "You know I will.  And, we've got two more days to get to know each other," LaFiamma said with a sexy grin.

          "Well, right now I want to get to know an omelet."

          "No sense of adventure, Lundy."

          "Adventure?  Mmm, I suppose I could let you cook."

          "Now there's a good idea," the Italian said.  "I make a mean cheese and mushroom omelet.  Maybe we should go back to a bed for a while first, though."

          "Oh?  Why?"

          "Work up an appetite for a LaFiamma special."

          "I already have an appetite for that," Lundy replied, standing and offering a hand to his partner.  Joe took it and let the blond pull him to his feet.  "But I guess we could put off breakfast for a while."

          They walked inside and headed for Lundy's bedroom.

 


End file.
